Holy Swearing Cuss!

Many movies have their own vernacular. It's a way to set apart the world of that particular film from the plane of existence that the viewers inhabit. The movie adaptation of Roald Dahl's Fantastic Mr. Fox is no different, but the jargon of that particular movie might not sit well with some parents. The film is rated PG, interestingly enough, for "slang," a reasoning that I had never seen before, but makes perfect sense once you watch the film. There is absolutely no swearing, but "cuss"-ing abounds. In the world of Mr. Fox, there is one universal swear word, and that is the word "cuss." For example:

Badger: The cuss you are.
Mr. Fox: The cuss am I? Are you cussing with me?
Badger: No, you cussing with me?
Mr. Fox: Don't cussing point at me!
Badger: If you're gonna cuss with somebody, you're not gonna cuss with me, you little cuss!
Mr. Fox: You're not gonna cuss with me!

And also:

Ash: I'm not gonna eat mud!
Beaver's Son: Cuss yeah you are.

I don't know about you, but if I was a small, impressionable child, I would think that this is the best loophole ever for getting out of punishments for swearing. In our world, cuss is a verb, not a noun; it describes the action of saying a foul word, rather then being the ultimate embodiment of one. While it may not be best for children to start "cuss"-ing, I think it would be great for adults. Imagine how much cleaner shows like Jerry Springer would be if the many wild and colorfully-tongued guests "cuss"-ed instead of swearing up a storm. I could watch the show without my ears ringing for an hour afterward from all the mandatory censorship that must take place at present. Personally, I am completely against censorship. But, discretion and censorship are not the same. I think that the way swearing is handled in Fantastic Mr. Fox is honorable, and the movie practically deserves a G rating for being more sensible in the language department than most movies I have seen over the past decade. After all, Snow White is rated G, and a woman is thrown off a cliff at the end. Think about that.
~Sushi

Stupid TV! Be More Funny!

I've watched the Simpsons since I was born, or thereabout. And, since I was born in 1990, this means that I've been watching the show practically since the beginning. It phased in and out, but when I came back, the Simpsons were always right there on Fox 32 at 6:00pm on weekdays, and at 7:00pm on Sundays. It's no surprise, therefore, that tonight I watched the 20th anniversary special, as well as the 450th episode.
Without further ado, I present:
Twenty Fascinating Secondary Simpsons Characters
_{Brought to you by Wikisimpsons!}
1. Comic Book Guy - "Worst. Episode. Ever."

2. Dewey Largo - Most likely not related to the Largo family from Repo!

3. Dr. Hibbert - "Did anyone else slip this woman fertility drugs?"

4. Duffman - "New feelings brewing in Duffman! What would Jesus do?"

5. Frank Grimes - "I don't need safety gloves, 'cause I'm Homer Simp--"

6. George H. W. Bush - "What are you laughing at, Clinton?!"

7. Groundskeeper Willie - "Och, back to the loch wi' you, Nessie."

8. The Leprechaun - "Now you know what you have to do. Burn the house down! Burn 'em all!"

9. Manjula Nahasapeemapetilon - Fried Green Tomatoes is her favorite book, movie, and food

10. Milhouse Van Houten- Milhouse is allergic to honey, wheat, dairy, non-dairy and even his own tears

11. Ned Flanders - "Hi-diddly-ho, neighborino"

12. Otto - Sometimes Otto will have acid trips while driving, or while out in public(his shoes spoke to him at Lollapalooza, stating they meant no harm and only wanted to listen to the music)

13. Poochie - Note: Poochie died on his way back to his home planet

14. Professor Frink - "GLAVIN!"

15. Rainier Wolfcastle - He is a veteran of many violent action movies, most notably "the McBain series which does not correspond to a 1991 action movie by the same name."

16. Señor Ding Dong - "Does anyone have any jumper cables?"

17. Seth and Munchie - "Get a load of Captain Bringdown! Woah!"

18. Sideshow Bob - "Hello, Bart."

19. Mr. Smithers - Smithers has the largest collection of Malibu Stacy dolls in the World and is the president of the Malibu Stacy fan club

20. Troy McClure - "Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such [films, educational videos, voiceovers, etc.] as..."

Please... No more Simpsons movies...
~Sushi

Obsession

The TV channel A&E, affectionately dubbed the "freak channel" by my parents, has this wonderful show called Hoarders. As scary as it is to see the pestilent disasters that people allow their houses to become, I'm quite addicted to the show. As far as my parents are concerned, though, we are hoarders, and thusly, ever since the show came on, they spend their waking hours going through our stuff, sending it off to the thrift store. Now, giving our stuff to a cause has never been strange to my household; it's the magnitude of it that scares me. My mom went into a tirade a few days, claiming that she couldn't walk through the house because of all the stuff everywhere. I'll admit, we do have lots of things in our home, but to hear her tell it, the stuff was eating her alive. It was frightening. Gladly, my parents have not yet raided my room, though my mother constantly urges me to donate clothes, books, etcetera, to the Salvation Army, and other various thrift stores that my clothes already came from in the first place. And so, to end this tirade, I invite you into my room...
Ten Weird Things to be Found in My Room
1. Kabuki mask

2. Coolie [mine is cooler]

3. Rainbow suspenders

4. Ceramic Chinese take-out container

5. Scrapbook of Dave Barry articles

6. Giant lightbulb [well, not that big]

7. Caution tape [great for raves]

8. Bowling pin

9. License plates

10. My immense skull collection [the most beautiful shape in the world, in my opinion]

Someday, I'll have to put up pictures of my skulls. Someday...
~Sushi

Wake Up to a Brand New You

One of my favorite things to do is dye my hair. I especially love it when my mom dyes it with a box of color. She has me sit in the middle of the kitchen as she puts on the "professional hair dying gloves". After the hair dye sets, and I take a shower to wash the excess out, I go to bed [we normally dye hair at night], so i can wake up to a different hair color. It's like having a small Christmas. This time in particular was fun because my mom dyed my hair for my Halloween costume; I have naturally blonde hair, and I hate wearing wigs. Velma would not look good as a dishwater blonde, in my humble opinion. So, I sat in the middle of the kitchen, and Spock watched fascinated as my mom dyed my hair. He had never seen hair dyed before, apparently. It made me laugh, and I chased him around the house trying to dye parts of his beard. Speaking of which, he has to trim that beard in order to make a good Shaggy. We're going to look so awesome.


A small list-- Five Shows I Wish Were Still On TV


1. Robot Wars


2. Teen Angel


3. Caroline in the City


4. Reboot


5. Figure it Out


I'm just dye-ing to go trick-or-treating!
~Sushi