13 June 2010

The Invisible Child-Eating Crocodiles that Live Absolutely Everywhere

Have you ever gotten a forward filled with funny, Photoshopped versions of children's books, all with seemingly the worst possible content and titles? Well, I get them a lot, and they never fail to amuse me, almost to the point of falling-out-of-my-chair laughter. ROFLing, if you will. I've written a half-dozen or so unpublished children's books, mostly for school, but I've never reached the raunchy caliber of some of the 'Shopped horrors that I have found while trolling about the internet. I hadn't thought about them for a while, but today I ran across another or Cracked.com's Photoshop contests. I'd like to share that, and a few more links to awful conceptions of books that should never be read by anyone, let alone children.
Just as a warning, a lot of these may be NSFW. That is, Not Safe for Work, for the less acronym-savvy among my readership.
Books Your Local Library Will Probably Not Have in Their Children's Section
Cracked: The 40 Most Inappropriate Children's Book Covers
DeviantART: Evil Children's Books
TresSugar: Recalled Children's Books
SlashFilm: Pixar Artist Josh Cooley’s Lil’ Inappropriate Golden Book Movies R Fun
Listverse: Kids Books Your School Doesn’t Stock: Part I & Part II
Something Awful: Children's Books: This goes on for 10 pages. And they are all awesome.
Huffington Post: The Creepiest Children's Books EVER: They all exist. For real.
For those of you who don't have the greatest internet connection, here are a few list-only links
1Funny: Top 50 Children's Book Title Ideas
Lots of Jokes: Children's Books Not Recommended by the National Library Association
University of Michigan: Children's Book Titles You'll Never See
Facebook: Children's Book Titles Never Published
For people with quick, amazing, awesome internet unlike me, here is a video.
Strong Bad E-mail: Kid's Book
And yes, I know that there are some repeats across these lists. But how many awful parodies of juvenile literature did you honesty want in existence?

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