24 December 2009

Bah Humbug

Call me a Grinch, or a Scrooge, or even a green llama, but I hate Christmas. I'm pretty sure that I've felt this way since I was eleven, when, in a temporary lapse of parental judgment, my mother spilled the beans to me about Santa Claus, three days before Christmas. She also told me about all the other mythological creatures that I was brought up to believe in: the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, St. Nicholas, etc. I know that Santa Claus and his rampant gift-giving are not meant to be the true meaning of Christmas, but it was a disappointment that I haven't forgotten in eight years, and probably still won't forget for a while. In fact, it makes me unsure as to whether or not I should tell my children, whenever I have them, about jolly ol' St. Nick and his ilk. In my pre-familial, teen-aged mind, it doesn't seem fair that parents can lie to their children, in the "spirit" of Christmas and various other holidays and occurrences, while children are never allowed to lie to their parents, for any reason at all. It's a trust-breaker. Sure, my parents have done other things that have shattered my trust in them, but I choose to bring this one up for the sake of so-called Christmas spirit.
Therefore, I offer up this list of different December holidays, many of which having nothing to do with Santa, or any other mythological figure.
Twenty-five Alternatives to Christmas
Thank you, Wikipedia, and various other wikis!

1. Bodhi Day [Buddhist]
2. Winter Solstice [Celtic/Wiccan]
3. Signature of the Constitution of the Republic of China [Taiwanese]
4. Yule [Germanic]
5. Hanukkah [Jewish]
6. Eid ul-Adha [Muslim; sometimes occurs in November]
7. Holiday [Pastafarian]
8. Yalda [Persian]
9. Saturnalia [Roman]
10. Zamenhof Day [Esperantist]
11. Festivus [Seinfeldian]
12. HumanLight [Humanist]
13. Kwanzaa [Pan-African]
14. Hogmanay [Scottish]
15. Karachun [Slavic]
16. Decemberween [HomestarRunner]
17. Chrismahanukwanzakah [Paygoism]
18. Freezing Man [opposite of Burning Man]
19. Agnostica [agnostics, I suppose]
20. Kwansolhaneidmas [Facebookers, myself not included]
21. Alvistide [Sealab 2021
22. Wintersday [Guild Wars players]
23. Feast of Winter Veil [those loathsome WoWers]
24. Starlight Celebration [FFXI players]
25. Hogswatchnight [DiscWorlders]
Happy/merry various winter-time holidays!

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