14 January 2010

Prior to Life / U(h)pdate 1

It was a long, unproductive day, and I don't feel like writing much about current events. So, here is a paper I wrote as a junior in high school, about how life on Earth began. We played a lot of four-square in high school. Oh, and I was a smart-ass then, too.

Biology II (3B)
Prior to Life

Before the beginning, there was a sphere. Life on Earth, as this sphere would later be called, was extremely boring, possibly because there was no life. All that resided on Earth was rocks, dirt, and water. The rocks sat, as rocks tend to do. They eroded and were built up through the ages, as the wind, rain, and snow shaped and formed them. The dirt was a dark, rich brown, and although nothing grew from it, it was beautiful in its stillness. The dirt lay upon the earth, blanketing and protecting it, for that was the dirt’s only purpose. The water flowed with the wind, serene and unpolluted by the toxic sludge that would later reduce it to poison. At that time, there was more water than our modern minds can imagine, for there was no-one to drink or bathe in it, no-one to bottle it or run it through filthy copper pipes into grubby, little houses.
The sun, called Sol, would occasionally shine through the water, causing beautiful rainbows to appear. Neither the dirt nor rocks could do something as phenomenal as creating rainbows, but in Earth’s later years, both the dirt and rocks would become exceedingly important, but the water would be forgotten, despite the fact that the water would be needed so badly. Day by day, Sol waited for something spectacular to happen, as it had seen on so many other planets. This Earth was slow in developing. Sol wondered what was taking so very long, for even the most minuscule, single-celled organisms hadn’t begun to crawl from the dirt and breathe the first signs of life into the planet. So, being bored, Sol came up with a plan. It rang up the Centauris, because they were closest, and asked them to come nearer to Earth. Sol also told them to bring a small asteroid.
Sol, Alpha, Beta, and Proxima fashioned the gaseous particles in the atmosphere into a galactic four-square court. They agreed that the first star to be eliminated would watch over the Earth until the next year, when they would congregate once again. Of course, being stars, none of them were very good at four-square, and the asteroid was soon out of bounds and hurtling towards the Earth. Sol and the Centauris were unable to stop their rock as it crashed into the helpless planet. The Centauris fled and, fearing the wrath of the Universe, remained huddled together, just out of Sol’s grasp.
After some time, Sol noticed that Earth wasn’t quite as barren as it had once been. Small prokaryotic creatures crawled from the crater left behind by the asteroid. Due to the absence of oxygen on the planet, these unicellular organisms survived without it. To this day, there are still organisms that will die if exposed to oxygen, because of the durability of their ancestors. From these simple organisms, all eukaryotic creatures evolved: bacteria, plants, and all manner of animals. And thus, life on Earth had begun.

Mr. Kistler's Uh Count
Mr. Kistler's *Uh* Count
Today 244
Semester 244

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